Siemens Employees Explain Their Coming out Journeys

Feeling defective, constantly on the lookout for flaws in your behaviour, interests, strengths, and your overall self is a feeling that I and many others have faced growing up queer. The fear of being treated differently becomes a major driving force in every move you make in those very integral and formative years of your life.  

You struggle to reconcile your true self with the person you think you need to be to fit in. But living comfortably as yourself without fear of judgment is important in all facets of your life. As a society, we must foster safe spaces for everyone where they can feel comfortable disclosing their sexuality and/or gender identity if they choose to do so.

I did not have a direct role model myself. While there was actually no shortage of queer representation in the media during my coming out journey, the toxic shame that surrounded the very idea of queerness forced me to actively steer clear of fellow gay influences. This created a sense of loneliness and isolation. In a lot of ways, I felt as though I had to become my own role model.  

For Coming Out Day, I asked various colleagues about their coming out journeys. Who did they look up to? What helped them on their journeys? What advice would they want to share?

Here is what they said: 

Mariana from Spain struggled with obstacles in her journey centered around the bias that a lot of people have about gender and the negative consequences that being openly gay in society might have. The television series “The L Word” and especially Beth and Tina were a great influence and helped her become more confident.  

My German colleague Isabelle noted that coming out as bisexual came with its own sets of insecurities.

“What kept me from accepting being bisexual for myself was mostly a feeling of not deserving to be seen as bi. I never had a full relationship with a woman, never got passed flirting”.

Not only do our coming out journeys rely on being in an accepting and supporting community, but also giving ourselves permission to be our full selves without feeling as though you have not “earned” the right to your identity. With sexuality existing on a spectrum, it is important that we not let anyone keep us from living our truth, including ourselves.  

Maria, who is also from Germany shared this advice:

"Don’t come out if you’re not ready for it. Your journey will be for sure easier if you do have a close friend supporting you."

For Jeremias, the environment in which he grew up, homosexuality was not a topic to be discussed. Since his family is very conservative and Catholic, it was more difficult to even address the subject. In cases like these we turn to figures and characters in the media, despite the varying limits on the media we are exposed to. It was not until moving to Lisbon and coming into contact with other members of the LGBTQIA+ community that he was able to take a major step in his journey. 

Bernardo, who – like Jeremias – comes from Portugal, had a similar experience growing up in a small town with limited access to the LGBTQ+ community. He was able to find connections online which aided in his coming out journey. His advice:

“It’s so much easier to handle any backlash when you have a safe space and a good support system around you.”  

Where and when you grow up can greatly determine the ease in which you move foward on your coming out journey. Afqad found that

“To be gay and to live in a Muslim country was never an option. The ultimate solution for me was to fly the nest and make the UK my new home.”

It is also important to note that coming out is rarely a one-time revelation.

Afqad shared that he feels as though he needed to come out twice, once in his personal sphere and once in his professional sphere. He found even working in a more accepting location, he was still in a straight male-dominated environment which comes with its own fear of rejection. Luckily, he notes that his coming out would not have been possible without his line manager and a mentor. 

Overall, sharing an aspect of ourselves that often has been doused in shame from a very young age, requires a very unique kind of courage. Our role models ranging from close friends, family, co-workers and even celebrities or fictional characters are partially responsible for the courage we display every day that we live as our authentic selves. Siemens takes special care to foster a supportive environment prioritizing openness, vulnerability, and authenticity. When asked what it means to bring our whole selves to work at Siemens, our colleague Mariana simply says “Pride”.