Mental Health Awareness at DWP – My story

No one ever said it’s easy to get on top of mental health issues. For some it is a daily battle and for others a return to deploying strategies when you recognise a dip in your wellbeing.

In my own experience, while subliminally aware that my wellbeing is not great, the pivotal point is recognising that I’m in my ‘spiral of despair’. That sounds hugely negative, but for me it is a moment for making decisions. I can stop myself getting in any deeper but at this stage cannot immediately help myself to come back.

Exhausted, but safe from perpetuating the unhealthy state, I can allow myself space for reflection, and work out what it is that needs to change and build myself up again.

I used to be a much more self-assured positive person, strong in spirit and temperament. Sometimes it feels like I’ve lost the old Carol and have spent time searching for her but have come to realise that this might be a new phase in my life which I need to embrace and find joy in the moment and future. Sometimes I find ‘old Carol’. Having reached my 60s some might say that’s exactly what I am, ‘old’, but the number does not determine who I am.

One route to positive thinking is to challenge yourself to ‘something that made me smile today’.

On my working in the office days (which I really embrace and enjoy) I’ve returned to a pre-COVID habit of taking a lunchtime walk. Urban landscapes and people watching might not be your idea of enjoyment but works well enough for me with the added benefits of your eyes focussing on something other than a screen as well as taking in the fresh air.

I enjoy using social media in a positive way and share these little experiences with a photograph on Instagram or Facebook where connected colleagues, family and even friends abroad respond to the joy of the moment. No comments, just ‘Likes’ and ‘Loves’.

There are many activities that we can engage with through work where we can learn more about things that affect wellbeing or conditions affecting others in our community, and also things that help lift our spirits.

My own journey to recovery started many years ago when I ended up being off work for an extended period of time due to depression. Unhealthy work and home relationships over a period of time had become too much to bear. People said, it’s Carol. She’ll be OK because she always is. Even that was a pressure.

Encouraged by a colleague and my GP, I ended up seeking help through DWP’s Employee Assistance Programme, agreeing to speak to a counsellor face to face. I felt confident about taking this step because sessions are confidential between you and your counsellor.

The first session was painful; full of crying, confusion and sadness. The second session less so. By the third session, I had started to sort out in my head what was most important to me and accept what was within my gift to change. In my fourth session I was able to tell the counsellor that I would not need any more support from them as I had decided that there were things that I could let go, releasing the burden of pain and concentrate on living. I left that meeting with a lightness of spirit, feeling positive and strong in what I would do.

A counsellor does not tell you what to do at any stage, instead helping you to feel empowered to make any changes yourself. You own the change whether it is a change of attitude (mindset), distancing yourself from negative or harmful relationships or making lifestyle changes.

I felt ashamed about being off work and dreaded any contact from people, worried that they would be judgemental of my inability to cope. Even if that was the case, I was surprised by the compassion shown by two work colleagues who helped to support me back into work. In the office, everyone treated me the same, helping me to build back my confidence, to grow and progress.

My journey wasn’t easy or comfortable and will not be the same as another person’s experience. Am I healed? Probably not as there are times when I have to go back to my toolbox to get back on track. Do I have the tools and support around me to navigate difficult times? Absolutely I do.

More importantly, share something that made you smile today :-)

DWP has a wealth of mental health wellbeing resources such as: Mental Health First Aiders, a Buddy support system, an Employee Assistance programme in addition to resources and toolkits to support employees.