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LGBTQ+ Parent: Natasha, Offers her Advice

Category: LGBTQIA+ (Sexual Orientation)

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Tell us about yourself.

I am Natasha Walker, I have been with my wife for 11 years and we have a 3-year-old daughter.  I have worked at RS Components for 15 years and I am currently a Senior Pricing Analyst.

 

What advice would you give to an LGBT+ first time parent?

We’re still very early on in parenthood, only 3 years in, so a lot learned and definitely a lot more to learn.

We ordered some reading books with two mums, so Marley can start to see her life reflected in books and not the standard mum and dad. I also joined a few pages on Instagram and Facebook regarding same sex parenting and LGBT mummies, it’s a good place to seek advice and for meeting or contacting other families close by.

     

What workplace policies are important to you?

I was very open with my line manager about our treatment plan as it was in Denmark and time off would be at short notice. The RS policy that was beneficial was the allowance of 5 days paid for Fertility treatment, especially has we had 3 rounds of treatment throughout the year. It takes a little bit of pressure off to know you can have paid leave to recover and attend all the appointments. Another policy that would be important to LGBT+ parent is an adoption leave policy, which is also another route that is explored to parenthood and to understand what support you would have in that process.

 

What are some of the unexpected challenges you’ve had?

The main challenge we’ve faced is the comments from family and friends about who the dad is between me and my wife or referring to the donor as “the Dad”.  In the early days after the birth, we didn’t know how to address it or even acknowledge the comments, but we soon learned that we had to correct people and talk to them about the right terminology to use.  

My advice, engage with your family and friends and educate on the roles of same sex parenting and the donor journey. Education is key.

 

What advice would you give to people in the workplace who want to be allies for LGBT+ parents in their organisation?

My advice for allies, if you want to understand anything just ask.

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