Travelport: Keith talks about what it’s like to be bipolar

World Bipolar Day (WBD) is celebrated each year on March 30th, the birthday of Vincent Van Gogh, who was posthumously diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. The vision of WBD is to bring world awareness to bipolar disorders and to eliminate social stigma.

Would you be uncomfortable to admit that you have a cold? How about feeling embarrassed that you broke your arm? What about being ashamed that you have high blood pressure, arthritis, or cataracts? Would you be downright humiliated to have thinning hair, bad vision, or dry skin?

While some people may not want to talk about these conditions for privacy reasons, one should never feel judged for speaking up about having them. Mental health is no different. We all have some kind of physical, mental, or emotional condition.

 

 

While there is much awareness surrounding autism, cancer, migraines, ADHD, diabetes, or those that choose to adopt various political or religious lifestyles, one thing that rarely gets positive attention is mental health. I am speaking specifically about bipolar (or manic depression) disorder. Most people who have this condition lead perfectly normal, productive, and happy (yes, HAPPY) lives. How do I know? Because I am bipolar, being diagnosed many years ago. However, I have not had an episode for several years, and am the happiest I have ever been.

It is well controlled with medication, talking about the issue, and being myself. No, I don’t enter a room of strangers or acquaintances and say “Hi, I’m Keith and I’m bipolar,” but I’m also not afraid to admit and talk about it. I don’t expect to be treated differently than anybody else, including being treated with kid gloves, or, on the other hand, judgement. I don’t want the “that poor thing” attitude any more than I want the “you’ve got WHAT?” response.

Let me discuss the challenges (and successes) that I have experienced, what has helped, and how I deal with this disorder. For those who are not familiar with bipolar, let me give a brief overview.

Someone who is bipolar experiences mood swings, sometimes severe. This is where the term “manic depressive” comes from. One can go from the lowest of lows (depression) to a “high” or manic state, sometimes having both at once (known as a mixed episode). However, being in a manic state does not feel like a “high,” euphoric, or even energetic. It consists of highly negative energy and feeling “scatter-brained.” You can’t focus, you start one thing and quickly move on to something else. This vicious cycle continues over and over again until you crash back into a depressive state. What has been my experience dealing with this? Read on! 

I have been married to the same woman for nearly 38 years, and it was tough at times before I was properly diagnosed. I was either brutally unhappy or bouncing off the walls. God bless her for staying with me through thick and thin. Since my diagnosis and subsequent treatment, things could not be better. I am happy, secure, confident, and positive. Now for my secret at getting and staying joyful. 

First, proper medication is key. No, pills do NOT solve the problem, but the right balance does help even out your mood. Mental health is, after all, an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. To say that someone is “crazy,” “off their rocker,” “sick,” “a downer” or “hyper” is very insulting. Our brains work differently, and we need these chemicals to balance our brain chemistry. There are many medications to do this, and the right balance and doses take time to figure out, so patience is key. However, once the right balance is struck (as is with me), you see (and feel) a tremendous, consistent, and positive change in mood.

Secondly, awareness and discussions about it are critical. I once had an employer threaten to fire me because of my disability, even though it was (and is) well controlled. I was treated differently (read: negatively) and slowly had responsibilities removed from my job, even though my work was never in question. I have always received highly rated annual reviews until this came to light at this particular company. Just writing this article brings me pure joy. DEI Rocks!

Next, hobbies are a necessity. Find some things you like but do them in moderation. Getting fixated on one or two things will lead to burnout, which leads to depression. My hobbies are spending time with my family, hiking, playing the guitar, caring for my three birds and target shooting. Each one reduces stress in a different way. Sometimes playing the guitar leads to depression (insert laughing emoji here)!

Lastly, I need to be allowed to be myself, from my sense of humour, my appearance, political and religious views, to my likes and dislikes. We all dislike something, but we don’t have to judge. It comes down to basic respect for the individual. Judgement is a disaster to a manic depressive. To me, this is the most important aspect. 

As an example, I have long, shoulder-length hair, and I have for over 25 years. I had one employer tell me I had to cut it because it was “not acceptable.” I subsequently left that job. One prospective employer (who did hire me) told me I would never succeed having long hair. I became one of the most successful people in that company. It was as if to say that my skills and education would change with short hair. 

I made myself “fit the mould” of society for many years. It caused a lot of inner conflicts and a lack of confidence, which increased the depressive side of my condition. When I finally accepted myself, my confidence and self-assurance sky rocked. Now, I get constant compliments on my hair and appearance. Acceptance of myself (and others) is critical. While I can’t control others, I can help to educate them. I learn more about myself when I help others understand. It’s been said, “Be yourself, because no one else wants to be.”

For the longest time, I used to ask, “why me?” I’ve now learned to say, “why not me?” God put me here as I am for a reason, and that reason may be to teach others, to be a model of acceptance and show the world that we are all different. What a boring world this would be otherwise. In short, bipolar is a controllable disorder, not a disease. What’s the difference? A disease is something that is chronic, progressive, and fatal. Being bipolar is chronic, can (but does not have to) be progressive, but certainly is not fatal. I wouldn’t change who I am for all the riches on earth.

Notice that throughout this article I have used the word “experience” and never said “suffer.” That was intentional. Plant a seed of acceptance and watch the riches abound.

 

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