Haymarket: Patrick shares his experiences with mental health

Haymarket is marking Mental Health Awareness Week and the focus this year will be exploring the effects of anxiety, how it affects our mental health, what we can do to manage these feelings, and how we can support those around us who may be struggling.

We hear from Patrick Mackie, Digital Learning and Development Coordinator, PSG, who shares his own experiences with mental health.

 

I have been quite fortunate to grow up around the world. Every two or three years I have moved to a different country and my journey has looked like this (so far):

1. Born in Bulgaria
2. Abu Dhabi, UAE
3. Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
4. Taipei, Taiwan
5. Tonbridge, UK
6. Abu Dhabi, UAE
7. Rugby, UK
8. Birmingham, UK
9. Taichung, Taiwan
10. Twickenham, UK

Despite being the ‘new kid’ in many schools, adjusting to new cultures, and using social media to maintain relationships, I have had a relatively good mental health journey throughout.

Naturally, I have cried saying my goodbyes to friends I’d never see again and have experienced many culture shocks, such as struggling to see the importance of queuing when I first moved to the UK. But for the most part, I had the stability and support of my family and the benefit of being in English-speaking communities, which helped ease me into these new stages of my life.

This once again changed in 2019 when my mental health came crashing down. After graduating from university, I moved to Taiwan to teach English to children, however, things didn’t go to plan.
I was anxious all the time. Constantly second-guessed myself as to whether I was making any friends. I was homesick and missed British chocolate, British shop signs, and the greenery of British trees. I even contemplated faking injuries and pretending to throw myself down the stairs, so that I could avoid teaching.

I came to terms with the fact that the massive shift in my lifestyle and environment was causing me to feel this anxiety. It made me realise that no matter how robust I thought my mental health may be, I could still spiral into having very low moments and feel deflated, impacting my confidence and overall energy levels.

Change is constant: moving house, changing jobs, having children, getting sick, ending relationships, rising bills, and global pandemics. No matter how big or small those changes might be, anything that breaks your ‘normal’ can have an impact on your mental health.

What helped me through my low moments was:

• Speaking to friends and family
• Walking
• Journaling about my thoughts and feelings
• A healthier diet 
• Embracing (and ultimately getting used to) the change

I eventually got over my homesickness and really enjoyed my two years in Taiwan. Those three months of poor mental health did happen again, but to a lesser extent, during my first week at Haymarket.

I accept that there will be many more moments of ‘change’ in my life, which I’ll have to embrace and try to move forward. This is the reason behind the tattoo on my forearm, which reads ‘Amor Fati, meaning ‘Love Your Fate’.

It’s not easy to shift your mindset when you are at the height of your emotions, however when you’ve got friends and family that you can speak to, journals to write in, and even a space to meditate in, you can certainly weather a lot of storms, showers and drizzles.

 

 

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